mr.right??

soooo i never paid you any attention until now.

i wonder why?

i wonder if i had, what'd it'd be like now?

soooo ill just call youu 'my jersey boyy'

so we met at a party i was clearrrlyyy in NO state of knowing what was up.

but soon after i realized it was youu.

i knew you were sweet && said all the right things

...but i was blinded && hurt from what HE'D done....

but now that im slowly getting over it...im slowly falling into youu.

and that makes me smile.

the 'good morning babe' texts FAITHFULLY everyday? makes me smile.

i cant wait to see what #2010 will bring.

but im happy yer my friend. :)

all that glitters...aint gold.

the money you spent meant nothing

cuz im still alone.

the love we shared meant nothing

cuz im still at home.

your out there loving her

when you should be loving me.

now my heart has grown cold

...because i realized all that glitters...aint gold.

talk of the town.

sooo
it took THREE months
for some DRAMA to
H I T.

...&& it just happens to be wit
some bitches i DONT EVEN KNOW.
#gofigure.

some RANDOMS; raven && brasha,
decided they were gonna talk shxt
about leena....since im her friend
i guess my name got thrown in there too.
but APPARENTLY , we some h o e s.

-chuckles-

funny.

but when approached?
THEY CLAIM TO NOT EVEN KNOW MY NAME.
smh. well you cant argue with a retard. soooo
i'll let it go....i suppose.

education.

my education is important.
yes i DO
know
this.

but this good
ol' hampton university?

does a GOOD OL' JOB
of makin niggas wanna
q u i t.

sooo...
i think
i just might
do
that.

...&& become a rapper.
#kanyeshrug.

hello.

hello.
you came out of no where.
??
im takin
a b a c k.
where did you come from?
are you real?
are you FORreal?

you give me
butter f i l e s.

we just met.
hehe:)

im a lil excited.
:)
we will seeeee.

so cold.

...now my heart
feels
SO COLD..

i may have had
a
nonchalant
demeanor...

but inside
my heart
was
weeping.

breaking up
is SO HARD.
..especially
when he's moved on
already.

...now my heart
feels
SO COLD...

follow the yellow brick road.

...when i hear my text message
ring, "new message from thee.f***.up"
it makes me laugh.
why are you texting me?
it makes me laugh really hard.
&& i look at myself in the mirror
&& i smile.
i am doing perfectly fine without him.

i could really careless about the small
talk, really.
it doesnt excite me.
i dont sit and wonder
...."maybe he wants me back."
hell to the no.
not now.
not ever.
that crap is done-zo.
...i dont even wanna be his
friend.
i feel absolutely nothing.

he says im mean now &&
have no sense of humor.
no doofus.
im mean to YOU.
i will not laugh or smile
or enjoy anything you say.
what for?
WHAT FOR?
we not cool.
we not friends.
we not homies.
im not calling you on yer birthday.
im not wishing you a merry christmas && a happy new year.
i dont care what you do.
i dont care abt yer life.
thats not my concern anymore.
YOU made that decision.
NOT me.
so no good luck's.
no see you later's.
no talk to you later after this convo is done.
cuz i d o n t c a r e.
get on with yer life.
enjoy yer frugal ass snowbunny.
enjoy yer frugal ass life.
you miss me. i can bet money on it.
well....
adios busterrr.

sour amaretto.

sweet
on the
outside.

sour
on the
inside.

backtracking.

when you've moved on to someone knew
why
backtrack?

i ask my self ; why is he infiltrating my mind.
why
backtrack?

i have had many experiences
since he's been out of my life.
,,,so
why
backtrack?

..because what we had was so good.
our circumstances ended our bliss.
you went left.
i went right.

&& now were 3 hours away.

i sit and wonder if we could have made it this far.
it would've have been a year last month.
...10.05.08

a year...wow.

i still miss you
&& i still care about you.

yer my derwin && im yer melanie. :]

home bound.

thanksgiving
break.

3 daysssss !

its amazing ; i cant wait
to see my familyyy
&& my friends

im so excited.

i cant wait to chill with my
'derwin ding-dong davis'

..that should be interesting

buttt the jayheadds will be in effect
&& THAT should be interestingggg !

:]

unknown.

is it possible to have sex with someone you think is totally
H O T T
&& not catch feelings?
as HARD as you may try...
can you really just not care at all.?

i wonderr..

twitter freakkk.

'tweet me babyyyy...'

drunkenn
blogingggg !

so im sitting here
with my ipod on shuffle
on a friday night
thinking bout my life
&& everyone in it.

&& started thinkin bout what i love &&
what i
hate.

who i love
&& i hate.

i love yOU.
&& i hate HIM.

i like youu
&& i hate HIM.

i think im pretty darn cool man.

lollllllll

friendships.

trust
from me
does not go to you
when yer fake
phoney
foogazey
...w/e

you get CUT
SNIPPED
CHOPPED
AXED
SEVERED
HACKED
..etc.

&& i wont feel a THING.

recollection.

i thought about you for the first time today,

&& it didnt make me sad....

&& THAT makes me happy.

i truly believed i've moved on.

i deleted you from my facebook,

&& im content with that.

im still hurt from what has happened, but

i honestly dont care anymore.

&& im content with that.

i kinda like someone.

...even though i know the odds are slim to none of us working out.

...but the thought is nice. lol

thanks to you though,

from the bottom of my heart.

thanks. :]

take the good out of the baddd.

man this weekend was craazzy.

i had to go to the field for ROTC.

it changed me in ways....

the experience in general was a learning one.

i DO feel like i gained quite a bit of knowledge.

although at times i felt it was horrible, i do feel like

i had fun also.

it makes me wonder, am i ready for the army

&& what i have to endure?

-shrugs-

.....i received a warm smile everytime i turned around though.

lol.

he's sweet. && i enjoy our text conversations.

...we'll see how this goes. :]

make mee famous.

just got back from the studioooo.

dished out TWOOOO hits !

im soooo excited !

imma be famous.

youu gon see my name is LIGHTS.

g u a r a n t e e d. :]

...just wait.

i knew.

i knew you wanted her.

from the beginning,

i

knew.

thats why i always brought it up

but no.

time && time again..

it was a NO.

you lied.

smh.

karma's gonna get you boy.

YOU L I E D.

now im standing here with my heartbroken.

&& you know what? im content with that.

theres a reason you didnt make it in my future.

i WILL be somebody. a famous somebody. a rich somebody.

congratulations on a life of struggle. i'll surely be breezing through.

have a great time with that.

xoxo,

a successful and beautiful black woman that you will

REGRET

eff'ing over. :]

spotless mind.

here i go again, wanting you back.

even though you broke my heart.....

i fell in love with a man wearing a disguise.

&& it came crumbling down before my eyes...

your my eternal sunshine.

but the only thing in life that i despise....

wish i had a spotless mind.

forget our memories..

i just wanna spotless mind.

walking by the places we used go.

sparked a memory of us...

&& how you filled my heart with just one smile.

emptied it all out with a simple lie...

the only way to let go..

is to vacate you from my heart and soul.

&& if our paths should ever cross once again..

i wouldn't know youu at all

cuz there's no recollection of us....

i remember.

the day that we first met.

i wanted you,

..you never knew.

-sigh-

i took matters into my own hands.

i pursued you.

..until you knew.

and when you did?

...i found out you wanted me too.

you stole my heart.

the talks

walks

kisses

hugs

caressed my cheek

holding hands.

i remember it all.

..do you?

i gave it a try.

i did try...

but i realized it wasnt worth it.

i wont completely give up, i guess.

...i'll play the game.

..ring around the rosie.

this weekend is gonna H I T.

..big time.

i

cant

wait.

:]

pop goes the weasel.

aye hoe.
..i pop tags.
..i got my own whip.
..got a job to go back to when im at the crib.
..hot as shhhhh.
:]
chili cheese fries from cookout.
chicken supreme kids meal from bojangles.
mcdouble.small fry.small water = $2.19
2 chicken ranch gorditas = $1.89

...mmm im hungry.

jayheads ?
i miss yall.

mike....-sigh-...yer retarded.
rodney...WTF...why havent i talked to you ???
gucci...man forreal. i need you and rod back in my life.
phifeyy...you freakingg.rockk.
a.wiggs...yer a doo-doo head. but still ily..cuz sly.

undo...i saw some fake cola in the cornerstore the other day. smh.
them dang fake .89 colas we used to get for the draaaank.
mix the draaaank.
frutista freeze. lol
man waiting in the line at taco bell FOR FOREVER. ughh. slow as shhh.
why didnt you EVER know where the swiper no swiping was?
why did i pee on my phone?
why did phifer NEVER give it to me?
ugh.
cierra..yer knees were BUSTED. lmaoooo.
i kept feeding you drinks...sorry. lmaoooo.
you slept through everything.
youu opened the door, threw up, && drove to redd's. smh.
alley cats. :]
the duck off.
donta's ass. smh. whyy.
hoe..you hit kiana wit the jaymoblie. im still filng a report.
weedhead.
passed out on weedman's lawn? janky.
you's a hoodbooger && ya bother me.
ugh.

i love yall.

epiphany.

so.
...i just fell out my bedd.
&& bumped my elbow.

it really hurtss ; but it got me thinking.

what am i doing with myself?
am i really sulking in my own sorrows?

s m h.

nahh.
not anymore.

'yellow benz wit a spoiler kit ; wit my spoiler chick
yellow diamonds on my neck && wrist ; match this yellow bishhh.'

yes...i think i love her
..me that is. lol

the rain.

i see no

stars

up in

the skyy ;

everything is cloudyy.

your ambiance

is exuding....

..that a storm is

brewing.

your eyes

have told a thousand

lies.

..i believed youu loved me.

youu filled my heart

with so much pain

..left me all alone in

the r a i n.

why wont you save me ?

save me from this pain ?

youu knew that i was weak..

yet you took advantage of me.

&& now that i cant breathe..

im blinded i cant see.

you let me walk alone..

now im caught up in this

storm.

my heart wont be the same..

cuz its drowning in

the r a i n.

ringing.

....&&

it

just kept

ringing ;

&& r i n g i n g.

...why did i even call.?

dont take advantage.

youu NEVER know
when someone youu love will
be taken from yer
life in a
f l a s h.

dont underestimate GOD.
..He has a plan && He
plans on carrying out
that very plan.

a boy passed away this weeked
at my school due to careless
use of a gun.
i did not know him personally
but my heart goes out
to his family and friends.
r.i.p theo.

...tell the people youu love
that youu love them today
..youu never know if they'll
be gone tomorrow.

&& he made it all better

...i sit here and wish that
that someone new
could be youu.
you make me smile.

...we'll see wheere this goes lol.

im the cleopatra ; to his nile river. <3.
:]

...don't blame it on thee alcohol.

these poor babies at my school.
smdh.

you should experience all
that you can in high school so
that when you get to college
you wont have to trial and error
with people that you dont know.

drinks.
she drinks, drinks.
cup after cup.
clouds.
she sees clouds.
laughter.
everything is funny to her.
he laughs with her.
they laugh together.
he looks into her eyes.
glassed eyes.
its not her inside.
drinks.
she drinks, drinks.
he knows. he knows.
they flirt.
they connect, or so it seems.
tiptoe.tiptoe.
..up the stairs.
nobody knows,
but upstairs she goes.
lays on the bed.
clouds, she sees clouds.
darkness. darkness.
brightness. brightness.
she sees light.
morning time.
dizzy.
she tries to get up.
burrr. her legs are cold.
she looks down at her
naked body from the waist down.
what happened.
remember.remember.
she doesnt remember.
panties. where are her panties.
jeans. where are her jeans.
naked. she's lying there naked.
alone. noone's there. she's alone.
remember. she doesnt remember.
virgin. she was a virgin. is a virgin.
was a virgin.
what happened.
she doesnt remember.

i know yer mother raised you better.
lets get it together ladies. dont put yerself
in compromising predicaments.
you shouldnt strain to remember.
...you should already know.

i know yer mother raised you better.

we dont save them hoes ; we let 'em go.

&& i promised myself i would not

cry.

youu insist on making a fool of me.

lies.

all lies.

theres nothing he could say. first the picture; then the video..&& now the comments...plus the stuff i dont even know abt?

nahh...

ill pass on the heartbreak this go 'round sir.
i'd like to get off this flight immediately.

im done making excuses for you when i know yer wrong.

&& i wont even let you make me believe i've done anything

wrong

because guess what?

...i know i havent.

so have yer fun.

play yer little games.

i hope she enjoys youu.

..&& i hope he enjoys me.

goodbye sweet love, hello to someone new.

..&& a wise man once told me...

'erase...replace...embrace...new face.'

when you want things right...they seem to go left.

sometimes....

i wonder.

i dream.

i wish.

i hope.

sometimes...

it sucks cuz yer not here.

yet i make it my point to try to replace you.

to fill the void that once stood complete.

but i realized

...that i cant.

theres only one youu. && its youu that i want.