mars vs. venus

me. ; in it to win it.

you. ; in it to win it.

--10 months later.--

me. ; in it to win it.

you. ; in it with someone else.

result. ; me...broken

you...careless.

---------------------------------------

days do not go by w/o me thinking about what we had.

how you fucked up,

how i fucked up.

how you hurt me,

how i hurt you.

&& i hate myself daily . b/c i allow myself to hurt.

i hurt b/c of you. && you have no idea.

i try to compare them all to you, && in the end

they dont live up to my expectations leaving me alone, again.

i try to keep busy just so i dont think about it.

i try to LOOK for what i should just stumble across.

b/c of you can i believe in love. can i?

did you love me?

some questioned if we really were in love...

4 months.

can you put a time limit on love.?

was is lust.?

we werent having sex.

so was it love?

is it love that im feeling?

im confused, bewildered, my guard is up.

i feel like ....like...idk what i feel like.

like the word VOID is tattooed

across my heart.

when will i stumble across someone.

if you wanted to resume what we had why would i let you?

why would i be so stupid to allow you to come back

when ever you feel like it. when its convenient for you..

why should i do that to myself.?

i already feel stupid enough.

when will i ever understand.

when will you ever understand.

....mars vs. venus.

follow the yellow brick road.

...when i hear my text message
ring, "new message from thee.f***.up"
it makes me laugh.
why are you texting me?
it makes me laugh really hard.
&& i look at myself in the mirror
&& i smile.
i am doing perfectly fine without him.

i could really careless about the small
talk, really.
it doesnt excite me.
i dont sit and wonder
...."maybe he wants me back."
hell to the no.
not now.
not ever.
that crap is done-zo.
...i dont even wanna be his
friend.
i feel absolutely nothing.

he says im mean now &&
have no sense of humor.
no doofus.
im mean to YOU.
i will not laugh or smile
or enjoy anything you say.
what for?
WHAT FOR?
we not cool.
we not friends.
we not homies.
im not calling you on yer birthday.
im not wishing you a merry christmas && a happy new year.
i dont care what you do.
i dont care abt yer life.
thats not my concern anymore.
YOU made that decision.
NOT me.
so no good luck's.
no see you later's.
no talk to you later after this convo is done.
cuz i d o n t c a r e.
get on with yer life.
enjoy yer frugal ass snowbunny.
enjoy yer frugal ass life.
you miss me. i can bet money on it.
well....
adios busterrr.