subscribeeee !

gettin my youtube togetherrrrr so

SUBSCRIBE BEYYOOTCHHH !!!

http://www.youtube.com/user/alexaabee?feature=mhw4

.....grocery bag.

'&& i got 'er nigga...grocery bag'

haha

thats stuck in my head.

so my weekend has been EXHAUSTING.

friday was freshman ball....

saturday i was turnt like shit starting

at 12 pm.

ALL DAY until like 1 something today.

smdh.

my stomach hurts baaaad. lol

#itbelikethatsometimes.

question existing....

"what do you do when yer

heart hurts so bad &

yer tired of this artificial

happiness your

attempting everyday?"

answer:

"you let go and let God

give you your happiness."

thanks tyrone. ily. :)

one more thing...lmfao.

hahahaha so IM at COLLEGE.

making SOMETHING outta my life

&& yer at HOME being MONKEY JOE...at

M O N K E Y J O E S !!!

l m f a o.

#killyourself.

......why the fck would i even THINK abt wanting you?

all i can do is laugh at my dumbass.

hahahahaha

&& thats fine.

yall be IN LOVE together working at monkey joes forever.

haha thats fine. smdh.

&& get a real job at least upgrade to chuck e cheese.

at least people know what the fuck that is !

haha monkey joes,....get the fck outta here lmfaoooo !

..it could all be so simple.

i don't need high heels
....For a good feel
you can keep the fancy clothes...
I'll take walkin in the rain
over things material..
I'll trade Melrose and the big names
Give me faces that I know
Just play a melody that everybody knows

Take it down, down, down
And strip it to the core
I don't really need much less is more, more, more

True to life, true to me
The way it's got to be
So simple, so simple, so simple
Live to love, love to be
Absolutely free...

so simple

so simple

so simple.....yea :)

-stacie orrico

to hear it from another....

so i just had a conversation with my good friend.

we'll call her.....diana ross :)

she opened my eyes very WIDELY.

if he could just move on && LEAVE me so quickly,

who's to say he wouldnt do it AGAIN if we got back together.

cuz he CLEARLY would be hurting JAMIE's ass if he dropped her as

soon as i got back.

he's a jerk.

point blank period

....&& i just need to dead that shit.

no more sad b.s.

so more sulking b.s.

from now on its all abt independence.

im a woman.

a woman who deserves the WORLD,

&& if ONE sorry nigga dont wanna give it to me

then a MAN will.

no more crying.

no more wishing.

no more waiting.

its over.

this is the end.

she said to BE single.

enjoy it.

it'll be good for me.....

so ima do just that.

ima be SINGLE.

ima do ME.

ima find myself. & im not gonna officially DATE anyone

for a WHILE.

i need time for myself.

IM whats important right now.

so i hope i get into berklee on the 31 && if i dont

then HELLO ATLANTA. either way, im BLOWIN the popsicle stick on VA && NC.

so new life. new me. NOONE knows me. && thats whats gonna be the best....

i wish...

i wish i could run away.

i wish i could travel.

i wish i could be in love.

i wish i could sing all day.

i wish i could meet Trey Songz.

i wish i could meet someone as real as me.

i wish i could go do my music right now.

i wish i could work with Keri Hilson right now.

i wish i could work up the nerve to make HIM see me.

i wish i could work up the nerve to let HIM go for sure.

i wish i could lay on the beach.

i wish i were in california.

i wish i were in nyc.

i wish i were in miami.

i wish i were in atlanta.

i wish i were in las vegas.

i wish i were a dolphin.

i wish i had a horse.

i wish......that all my wishes could come true.

imy.

mommy. i miss youuuuu. :)

sometimes we dont notice the obvious.

yer standing right in front of me.

you've been standing there for a while.

what am i supposed to do with you

if im not over him.

is it fair to you.?

my trust meter? shot.

...i dont wanna hurt you.

mars vs. venus

me. ; in it to win it.

you. ; in it to win it.

--10 months later.--

me. ; in it to win it.

you. ; in it with someone else.

result. ; me...broken

you...careless.

---------------------------------------

days do not go by w/o me thinking about what we had.

how you fucked up,

how i fucked up.

how you hurt me,

how i hurt you.

&& i hate myself daily . b/c i allow myself to hurt.

i hurt b/c of you. && you have no idea.

i try to compare them all to you, && in the end

they dont live up to my expectations leaving me alone, again.

i try to keep busy just so i dont think about it.

i try to LOOK for what i should just stumble across.

b/c of you can i believe in love. can i?

did you love me?

some questioned if we really were in love...

4 months.

can you put a time limit on love.?

was is lust.?

we werent having sex.

so was it love?

is it love that im feeling?

im confused, bewildered, my guard is up.

i feel like ....like...idk what i feel like.

like the word VOID is tattooed

across my heart.

when will i stumble across someone.

if you wanted to resume what we had why would i let you?

why would i be so stupid to allow you to come back

when ever you feel like it. when its convenient for you..

why should i do that to myself.?

i already feel stupid enough.

when will i ever understand.

when will you ever understand.

....mars vs. venus.

real eyes recognize real lies.

how hard is it to tell the truth.

i do not understand why

people misuse the term 'REAL'.

either be it, or dont.

speak it, or choke.

serve or be c h o p p e d.

...&&at the end of the day it is what it is.

i will ALWAYS be real.

until the death of me.

is boo-boo the fool written on my forehead.?

NEGRO SLAVESS.....

shitttttt..

witcho cryin asss !!!

(inside joke...nvm)

anyway..

so basically i dont feel like elaborating on whats

goin on, soooo ill prob do it tomorrow.

but for the most part

i cannot

deal with

the

incompetent.

you lie. therefore you are a liar.

females...messy as they wanna be.

its fine. i peeped ya game.

wish i woulda figured out sooner.

...should read btwn the lines.

got outta dodge.

silly me.

now im dealin wit ya dumbass for no apparent reason.

waste of my damn time.

ughhhh

witchoooo cryin ass !!!

*RIP Carol's Dog*

-lmaooo

*side-eye*

okayy soooooo friendships have been on a rollercoaster ride the last few weeks.

i have NEVER

had to

deal

with the amount

of drama

that has presented itself

to me in these past few weeks.

who's real.

what's real.

lies.deceit.fake.fraud.gilded.scrutiny...etc.

its becoming a snowball effect & im bout

to chop that sucka in HALF.

i aint got the time for it. so imma sit back relax, & make shit happen.

aint got the time to be side-eyeing peeps that are suppose to be my friends

#aintgotthetimeforit.

im as real as it gets. you aint gonna find me in NO mess.

no enemies. no fights.

i aint got the time for it.

but just remember this ONE thing ;

k a r m a is a b i t c h.

that is all. :)

so you wanna join my team...

eenie meenie myniee moe.

catch a tiger by his toe.

eenie meenie myniee moe.

my mama told me to pick

the very best one && you

are not IT.

with a dirty, dirty dish rag

on your stinky toe.

haha.

so i wonder who i'll land on..

who's NOT it.

who IS it.

will it last?

..or will it end up like the rest..

we will see....

once upon a time.

there once was a girl who loved a boy.

that boy told her he loved her first,

& in the end was the first to let her go.

if he loved her, how could he leave her for another?

was that love?

is it love?

do we both still love?

idk if i could ever get over the hurt.

that YOU caused .

daddy's home.

wow... so its been over a MONTH since i've blogged.

i cannot honestly give a good reason why.

#kanyeshrug

learned alot..

found out alot..

&& reevaluated alot..

& ultimately...

i GREW UP alot...