i'll be famous. promise . :)

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life lessons.

today i had a small talk with shakir.

got me thinkin bout my past && the things i used to do.
...what was i thinking?
young.
dumb.
naive.

my 9th and 10th grade years...ehh...guess you can say i was ...ahh...looking
for something.

whatever that something was?....i realized couldnt be found.

i now, a freshman in college, look back at my high school years..
...im not proud of somethings that happened but i
use those experiences to better myself for my future.

i now know i can not LOOK, i have to be FOUND.
......im waitinggg.

#BIWO !

sooooo.

the topic on theee brain is this ::

"how come the niggas here need to have sex with

a M U L T I T U D E of females, when they can have

O N E female and have sex with her M U L T I P L E

times?"

...food for thoughhht.

lets play catch up.

soooooo damn i havent

written in a minuteeeee.

sah-wee :)

let me bring youu up to speed with meeee.

backk at wack ass H AM P T O N.

sigh.

its actuallyyy not that bad, yet.

waitttt scratch that...

we aint got NO HOT WATER

..POWER BE GOIN OUT EVERY OTHER DAY.

CABLE BE OUT..like right now. wtf.

ELEVATOR DONT WORK.

OVERHEAD LIGHT IN MY DORM ROOM DONT WORK.

CAFE FOOD STILL NASTY AS HELL.

....theres much more but w/e yall get the extent of this

shit bag i live in. smh.

besides all that......

my schedule is P E R F E C T. :)

studio time is going GREATTTT ! :)

been partyinggg like crazyyyy. lol

....all i need is a valentine now...?

dear love.

dear love,

im writing you this letter.

to tell you how i feel,

&& why we're not together...

..we've gon awry

&& i cry...

almost every night.

i'm sorry i changed

i'm sorry i pushed you away.

dear love,

i hope i can forgive you,

for telling me your love

was something i wasnt used to

but it was.

it was the same,

as everyone i hate....

marylanddd bishhh.

so im up hurrrrr visiting the mom dukes.

its COLD AS H E L L.

#nobueno.

went to go see Armored today

at the Magic Johnson theater in PG county.

columbus short is HOTTTT :)

we ate at Bugaboo Creek Steakhouse....thats a funny name.

haha.

well im bored.

...obviously.

in the eye of the beholder.

you make me feel so different.

&& its weird because i havent seen you in 3 weeks.

...havent touched you.

...havent held you.

...havent seen you laugh.

...havent seen you frown.

&& its totally weird.

we talk EVERYDAY.

...just like we promised. :)

i guess i can say yer growing

into my little infatuation. lol

when i'm all alone, surrounded with my own thoughts

i think ;

"You dont need the heart breaks or all the pain, you dont deserve the crying and all those bad things. your heart deserves to be taken care of by a pair of loving hands, so leave that BOY alone, since he hurt you, and go find a real man."

..&& call me crazy , but im starting to want that to be youu.

please dont hurt me.

please dont lie.

please be there for me.

please dont make me cry.

i swore i'd never let another,

capture my heart.

but if i take a chance on you,

please dont leave me alone

in the dark.

xoxo.

-my.jersey.boy.-

my jersey boy

i miss youu !

duck.duck.drunkk.

soooo i just got homee from a house partyyy,

&& of course im not regularrrrly properrrly functioningggg.

i feel like snogginggg..

i wondr if yer wondr ing hwat that meanss? haha. look it up dummyy.

anywooo.

i have a new friend!

i'll call him....hmmm..

'jack rabbitt'

he's veryyy sweet. && i enjoyed how he opend up to me today

we'll be such good friends. yay.

haha.

it was new years day yestrday & now its 2010. wow.

#in2010 its OVER betwn me && HIM .

i refuse to let him fill my mind btcuz iat this point its a lil

ridiculous ya know? like why am i hanging on to absolutely n o t h i n g good

for me in the long run.

there perfect for each other

&& i need someone BETTER

REALER

&& who loves me forreal.

i promise myself.

no more tears. no more time wasted on thoughts of him.

i promise. i promieseeee.

:)