so cold.

...now my heart
feels
SO COLD..

i may have had
a
nonchalant
demeanor...

but inside
my heart
was
weeping.

breaking up
is SO HARD.
..especially
when he's moved on
already.

...now my heart
feels
SO COLD...

follow the yellow brick road.

...when i hear my text message
ring, "new message from thee.f***.up"
it makes me laugh.
why are you texting me?
it makes me laugh really hard.
&& i look at myself in the mirror
&& i smile.
i am doing perfectly fine without him.

i could really careless about the small
talk, really.
it doesnt excite me.
i dont sit and wonder
...."maybe he wants me back."
hell to the no.
not now.
not ever.
that crap is done-zo.
...i dont even wanna be his
friend.
i feel absolutely nothing.

he says im mean now &&
have no sense of humor.
no doofus.
im mean to YOU.
i will not laugh or smile
or enjoy anything you say.
what for?
WHAT FOR?
we not cool.
we not friends.
we not homies.
im not calling you on yer birthday.
im not wishing you a merry christmas && a happy new year.
i dont care what you do.
i dont care abt yer life.
thats not my concern anymore.
YOU made that decision.
NOT me.
so no good luck's.
no see you later's.
no talk to you later after this convo is done.
cuz i d o n t c a r e.
get on with yer life.
enjoy yer frugal ass snowbunny.
enjoy yer frugal ass life.
you miss me. i can bet money on it.
well....
adios busterrr.

sour amaretto.

sweet
on the
outside.

sour
on the
inside.

backtracking.

when you've moved on to someone knew
why
backtrack?

i ask my self ; why is he infiltrating my mind.
why
backtrack?

i have had many experiences
since he's been out of my life.
,,,so
why
backtrack?

..because what we had was so good.
our circumstances ended our bliss.
you went left.
i went right.

&& now were 3 hours away.

i sit and wonder if we could have made it this far.
it would've have been a year last month.
...10.05.08

a year...wow.

i still miss you
&& i still care about you.

yer my derwin && im yer melanie. :]

home bound.

thanksgiving
break.

3 daysssss !

its amazing ; i cant wait
to see my familyyy
&& my friends

im so excited.

i cant wait to chill with my
'derwin ding-dong davis'

..that should be interesting

buttt the jayheadds will be in effect
&& THAT should be interestingggg !

:]

unknown.

is it possible to have sex with someone you think is totally
H O T T
&& not catch feelings?
as HARD as you may try...
can you really just not care at all.?

i wonderr..

twitter freakkk.

'tweet me babyyyy...'

drunkenn
blogingggg !

so im sitting here
with my ipod on shuffle
on a friday night
thinking bout my life
&& everyone in it.

&& started thinkin bout what i love &&
what i
hate.

who i love
&& i hate.

i love yOU.
&& i hate HIM.

i like youu
&& i hate HIM.

i think im pretty darn cool man.

lollllllll

friendships.

trust
from me
does not go to you
when yer fake
phoney
foogazey
...w/e

you get CUT
SNIPPED
CHOPPED
AXED
SEVERED
HACKED
..etc.

&& i wont feel a THING.

recollection.

i thought about you for the first time today,

&& it didnt make me sad....

&& THAT makes me happy.

i truly believed i've moved on.

i deleted you from my facebook,

&& im content with that.

im still hurt from what has happened, but

i honestly dont care anymore.

&& im content with that.

i kinda like someone.

...even though i know the odds are slim to none of us working out.

...but the thought is nice. lol

thanks to you though,

from the bottom of my heart.

thanks. :]

take the good out of the baddd.

man this weekend was craazzy.

i had to go to the field for ROTC.

it changed me in ways....

the experience in general was a learning one.

i DO feel like i gained quite a bit of knowledge.

although at times i felt it was horrible, i do feel like

i had fun also.

it makes me wonder, am i ready for the army

&& what i have to endure?

-shrugs-

.....i received a warm smile everytime i turned around though.

lol.

he's sweet. && i enjoy our text conversations.

...we'll see how this goes. :]

make mee famous.

just got back from the studioooo.

dished out TWOOOO hits !

im soooo excited !

imma be famous.

youu gon see my name is LIGHTS.

g u a r a n t e e d. :]

...just wait.

i knew.

i knew you wanted her.

from the beginning,

i

knew.

thats why i always brought it up

but no.

time && time again..

it was a NO.

you lied.

smh.

karma's gonna get you boy.

YOU L I E D.

now im standing here with my heartbroken.

&& you know what? im content with that.

theres a reason you didnt make it in my future.

i WILL be somebody. a famous somebody. a rich somebody.

congratulations on a life of struggle. i'll surely be breezing through.

have a great time with that.

xoxo,

a successful and beautiful black woman that you will

REGRET

eff'ing over. :]

spotless mind.

here i go again, wanting you back.

even though you broke my heart.....

i fell in love with a man wearing a disguise.

&& it came crumbling down before my eyes...

your my eternal sunshine.

but the only thing in life that i despise....

wish i had a spotless mind.

forget our memories..

i just wanna spotless mind.

walking by the places we used go.

sparked a memory of us...

&& how you filled my heart with just one smile.

emptied it all out with a simple lie...

the only way to let go..

is to vacate you from my heart and soul.

&& if our paths should ever cross once again..

i wouldn't know youu at all

cuz there's no recollection of us....

i remember.

the day that we first met.

i wanted you,

..you never knew.

-sigh-

i took matters into my own hands.

i pursued you.

..until you knew.

and when you did?

...i found out you wanted me too.

you stole my heart.

the talks

walks

kisses

hugs

caressed my cheek

holding hands.

i remember it all.

..do you?